11 minutes left of october 1st

i’ve been deliberately absent.

sometimes i want to post, and post ephemera. other times, i get busy.

last time i had a baby, i deleted my blogs.

this time, i got an attack of the privates.

i tweeted some of lila’s birth – but my twitter is set to private, now. i shared video of lila with family, but not here. no pictures on flickr.

i’m sure i’ll soon be cured.

i thought i’d post about moving to canada. i thought i’d post about our new town, our pregnancy, about having a home birth, about hypervideo and about my writing. this isn’t an apology for not doing that. it’s just a note to myself that i didn’t do any of it.

everything’s in flux. macro and micro. things are coming together here, i think. family, work, creative projects, plans for the apocalypse.

this became our family blog. kate sees this as our window on the world, where family and friends come to see what we’re doing out here. that must be why i feel self-conscious. like i can’t even use bad language. and i use bad language a lot.

documenting needs to be scrappy. videos need to be sketchy. writing needs to fail. posts need to be boring. i need another place. but you are all subscribed here.

is it ok, family & friends people, if this blog is not a family photo album, if it’s just an incomprehensible fucked up studio of RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?

all right, then.

Let's Rock - from Fire Walk With Me

9 thoughts on “oktober

  1. I had this same problem, and look at me now. Or don’t, I hardly set a good example 🙂

    Tho I do miss your raaants 🙂

  2. Don’t let living life get in the way. 🙂
    Nevermind. At the end of the day, it’s living life that’s important.
    I hope you like Hockey. You’re in Canada now.

  3. I think friends just want Rupert and the form doesn’t matter, though RAAAAAAAAA! is always good. I split my stuff up into three different blogs but then I combined the feeds into one so…

  4. thanks, guys.
    it’s a good idea, verdi – separate blogs with different feed combo options. will put my mind to it this month.
    mike, i don’t know how you do it. and i’m going to try with the hockey thing. i don’t have a tv, though, so that’s not a good start.

  5. Thank god for fucked up, incomprehensible studios of Raaaaaaaaa…

    Gaps in the narrative are all part of the creative process. All artists have their gaps. So don’t worry. I’ll put it all together when I write the biography. Just give me unfettered access to all your papers and 10% of royalties and we’ll call it quits.

  6. Wondered about your absence. Hoped all was well, and after reading this, I can see that is the case. Sometimes life can spin you around … disorient you … basically fuck with you to an extent. Don’t waste your time looking for that rhythm again – it will find you.

  7. I don’t tell you enough, but I always enjoy watching, listening, seeing you…..although we have never met, and may never meet….I consider you a friend. Not only that but you inspire me, I think you inspire a lot of people actually…and hell that can be scary as **** but it’s a gift as well, if you stopped making videos today, I would be sad, I can/could understand why you would, sometimes I think “why am I still doing this”….but then I come across a new video or I rewatch someone’s old video and I think about all I have learned from so many different people, how you have made this world a bit smaller for me, in a good way….and I shoot some more video and I post. I hope you post again, I hope to someday meet you…..but at the end of the day, just live life…..

    Peace and love…..Heath

  8. yeah, hear where you are coming from. I wrestle(d) with that on DJElectricDaddy. Originally meant to be the window of our world as Gaige grows up absent almost his entire family. But then I found out that videoblogging had a name and a community. And I tried to become a proper vlogger. And my curse riddled rants didnt quite fit into the daddy-blog. And the artsy short film stuff, where does that go. Who has time to manage one blog, let alone 3.

    Dunno mate. wish had some advise, other than its a problem that we all face I think. As long as you dont stop. for long. We want to see your shit (not literally) wherever it may reside.

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